Note to readers: the Good Morning Monday feature is being replaced by Week Forecast with Bootleg Cleo. Please welcome Bootleg Cleoto the blog and make her feel welcome. She will be using her bootleg psychic abilities to predict what will be on the blog throughout the week (similar to what the Good Morning Monday feature once was) and she is also open to giving advice (similar to a Ask Annie feature). Bootleg Cleo specializes in predicting the blog’s feature, reading and comparing astrological charts, and giving all kinds of advice. Feel free to email her with any questions about your personal life at firstname.lastname@example.org. And now, on with the show…
Who is Bootleg Cleo?
A couple weeks ago I got a call on my bootleg line, 1-800-A Bootleg Cleo, it was the Coachella Valley Art Scene calling. The lady who runs it was in a desperate need for some psychic readings. She wanted to know the forecast for the future of her site, which is all good, but the damn lady was tryna’ nickle and dime me. She wanted that ‘ish for free! I wasn’t having that. So the Coachella Valley Art Scene and I set up a barter system; I will do some bootleg psychic readings for her website on a weekly basis in replace of her (bootleg) Good Morning Monday feature for free as long as I get a feature on the site (ya know, a lil’ promo for myself and my bootleg busines). She was down. And we had a deal.
So, with that being said: here I am. My psychic name is Bootleg Cleo. A couple weeks ago you used to be able to call me at 1-800-A Bootleg Cleo, but I wasn’t getting any Astrology and/or advice column gigs, so I had to cut my line off and now I just got that gmail. So, you can write me email@example.com. Maybe one day I will get a pager for my services, but until that day of me rollin in the doe, I just got an email. I am a multi-talented Astrologist, Psychic, Advice guru, and much more. I don’t have any certification , except street cred. And street cred is all you need in the psychic game. So, don’t be shy or closed-minded, that was so like 2007/08. It’s 2009 ya’ll! Open yourself up to inner truth and higher forms of thinking….
This is what I, Bootleg Cleo, am predicting for the week ahead on thecoachellavalleyartscene.com:
1. Bootleg Mondays. Not as cool as “Buttery Ass Mondays” (google that if you don’t already know), but my bootleg services are gonna get the job done. Keep tuing into my feature. You gonna like it…. I predict it!
2. Wandering. Not all who wander are lost. Although I see the CVAS wandering back and highlighting some past interviewees, the eye is still on the future. The Aquarius sun makes you do weird things.
3. Artsy Fartsy. I predict that their will be many interesting museum functions, particularly at the Palm Springs Art Museum and the CVAS will be covering it all.
4. Sk8trz. Get to know your local skateboarders on the blog this week, my crystal ball is telling me it’s going to be a photography feature.
5. Free. Not only am I seeing a posting on free films, events, and music that is being offered in the Coachella Valley… but I also see the email address… firstname.lastname@example.org. I see tons of people emailing the address for some Astrological consultation between them and their love interests… for free.
6. Fiestas. I see here in my crystal ball that many of you will be partying this weekend. This is a joyous time for all. Some of you will be traveling out of town, but most of you will be here in town. I see about 5 different parties. I see all of them being fun.
Okay, my friends…. I will see you later… until then, remember, if you have any questions, feel free to email me at email@example.com